Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Relax (1984)
In January 1984, Mike Read yanked Relax off Radio 1 before the song had finished playing, appalled after having realised that they weren’t singing about, you know, calisthenics. Despite his rashness, Read was pretty slow off the mark: Frankie’s label ZTT had already taken out ads that included such phrases as “all the nice boys love sea men” and “nineteen inches that must be taken always”. Of course, it went on to be a giant hit, spending 52 weeks in the Top 75. It just goes to show, the best way to suppress smut is – like a pervert on public transport – just to ignore it.
Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin
Je T’aime ... Moi Non Plus (1969)
The ne plus ultra of coming on strong, this breathy 1969 (nice) single upset everyone from Portugal to the pope (whom Gainsbourg called, per Birkin, “our greatest PR man”). Little did they know that, three decades later, Birkin’s rhapsodic delivery would be appropriated by M&S ads hawking posh salmon.
Madonna
Justify My Love (1990)
Justify My Love was accused of being so outrageous that Madonna had to invent a new format to contain her smuttiness: when MTV pulled the video for being too sexually explicit, she released the first ever VHS single (certified 18). It was a global hit, the clunky format a testament to the tenacity of perverts everywhere.
NWA
Fuck Tha Police (1988)
Fuck Tha Police didn’t need banning: it was too profane for radio broadcast anyway. But that didn’t deter Australia’s Triple J, which happily played it for six months. Then the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (under pressure from a rightwing senator) banned it. Triple J protested by putting NWA’s Express Yourself on loop for 24 hours.
Abba
Waterloo (1974)
During the Gulf war, the reliably literal BBC wasn’t taking any chances, and expunged 67 songs – featuring even the vaguest and most metaphorical references to armies, fighting, boats, killing, cavalry or the Middle East – from its playlists. Among them, Abba’s notoriously hawkish hit, Waterloo. Don’t mention the ... 1974 Eurovision Song Contest?
The Beatles
Happiness Is a Warm Gun (1968)
Another instance of the BBC’s gift for misinterpretation. The Beatles’ track was not censored for referencing firearms, or for its phallic implications, but, John Lennon claimed, for being “about shooting up drugs”. Given that the phrase came from Charlie Brown, it would have been an endearingly innocent heroin reference.
Beach Boys – God Only Knows
In the United States of the 1960s, invoking the name of God in a pop song was regarded as blasphemy, leading to some radio stations banning the Beach Boys classic.
The Kingsmen -Louie Louie
The Kingsmen’s 1963 recording of “Louie Louie” triggered perhaps the most absurd moral panic in music history. Poor sound quality and the singer’s braces made innocent lyrics completely unintelligible, sparking rumors of hidden obscenities that reached FBI headquarters. The resulting two-year investigation found nothing—because there was nothing to find.
This three-chord garage rock song became accidentally subversive, turning teenage gibberish into suspected filth. Parents and officials created the controversy through their own paranoia, transforming mediocre musicianship into countercultural defiance. Sometimes the establishment’s fear reveals more about them than about what they fear.